Are you too pretty or too attractive? Maybe you’re too thin? Maybe your life is going too good and you’re starting to climb too high. Well, have I got the answer for you. BOOZE! If you’re tired or scared of accomplishing everything you could ever dream of, you need booze. Booze can make you fat, stupid, broke and best of all………..when you’re mediocre, you’ll never offend anyone. The best way to never fail, is never to try…….and booze will get you there! Why stand out when you can just fit in….with all the other drunken half-wits. The testimonials tell the real story. Stacy from Idaho says several hard nights of boozing has got her 3 children (all under 5), all by different Dads, none of which have stayed around to raise them. Jim from Arkansas says he got in a drunken bar brawl one night and was awarded a criminal record for his troubles, so now he just got fired from that great paying job he had. Age faster, do stupid things, build a bad reputation, get a big gut hanging over your pants and be so drunk…….that you still think you’re sexy, even though you’re a complete and utter human mess. Maximize your dumbness. Forget aiming for the stairs, just fall down the stairs. Booze has it all. Booze never says no. Get booze, party like a slave star and live your worst life today.