I was never really big into steroids in my youth but I did enjoy the extra 5-10lbs of muscle, the thinner waist and the extra junk food steroids allowed me to eat…without that garbage food destroying my body. In the end, no matter what types of steroids I tried or how I combined/cycled them, I always got negative health results….in only a couple of weeks. It felt good for a couple of days and then quickly my body rejected them. This happened with all my self abusive habits…narcotics, alcohol, junk food, working too much etc etc. I would self abuse, my body would reject the self abuse, I would take a break and then I would often just cycle back to the self abuse a couple weeks or months later. This went on for most of my twenties and into my early thirties. I managed to reverse all these self abusive habits of course and by doing so I learned the most valuable lesson in the world….or so I believe. I call the lesson I learned, “the work you’re really avoiding.”

This “work you’re really avoiding” was a very powerful lesson because over a decade ago I realized that all my self abusive habits revolved around “the work I was avoiding.” I was avoiding the work I needed to accomplish, in order to develop into a better man and a better human being. I didn’t really need steroids or any of the other self abusive habits, I just needed to work smarter and get into a more intimate relationship with my body and my human machine. I had to first believe that my body was capable of doing everything and more, compared to what was being offered by “science”. I needed to believe in humanity, me, nature, God, the creator and life itself. I decided to make that leap and do the work that I was avoiding. Maybe I needed more sleep to become better? Maybe I needed to change my workouts up a bit to become better? Maybe I needed to change my diet? Maybe I need to breathe more deeply during my day and reduce stress outside the fitness club? Maybe I needed to connect more to others, in order to change my hormone profile? Maybe I need more sex? Maybe I needed less? Maybe I needed to work on my fear of being attacked or dominated or bullied…..which of course I experienced in my youth? Maybe I needed blue light blocking glasses? Maybe I needed to drink more water? Maybe I needed less? Maybe I had to grow up and realize that I was no longer afraid of what other people thought of me? Maybe I needed to take my proper rite of passage from child to adult and not beg to be accepted and people please everywhere I went? Maybe I needed to feel safe inside my own skin no matter what? Maybe I need to focus on the work that my self abuse was keeping me from? In the end, I could get what I wanted and more, if I just stopped shying away from the work I needed to do and the relationship I needed to forge with myself. So one day I just decided to start doing the work, to get what I want, without hurting myself.

And the lesson was even more valuable than that of course because when I decided to work in the areas that I was avoiding, only more and more positives came into my life. In comparison to the self abuse, which kept me avoiding the work I really needed to do, only negatives would come into my life. When people see me now eating a certain way, drinking only glass bottled spring water, thriving to help others rise up, not drinking booze, not doing drugs, not doing steroids, not eating junk and working out in different ways……..I’m simply doing the work that I was always avoiding in my youth and by doing so, my life got better. Never avoid the work you really need to do. Develop a close spiritual relationship with yourself, your soul, your body and your heart energy. It’s worth it. Do the work. Start a passionate love affair with yourself. Your life only gets better. True story.