The self saboteur enjoys the “try and fail cycle” because of the final destination they arrive at….when it’s all said and done. After a try and fail cycle (a failed diet, relationship, exercise routine, quitting an addiction, brand new home exercise equipment they never use etc)…….there’s the self attack and self loathing they’re familiar with, as a learned behavior from their original family tribe.

Our behaviors as adults are primarly geared toward recreating the vibrational essence and feelings of our childhoods. If our childhoods were full of self doubt, low self esteem, low self confidence, mental fragility and misery……we’ll actively seek out varying situations that replicate those feelings in our adult lives. Those emotions become “our brand”. Sort of like Gucci, Nike, Underarmour etc. We’re attracted to whatever our brand is placed upon. We seek our brand because it’s familiar and makes us feel safe, secure and part of the herd, the wolf pack or the bigger group. That means if a child had a turbulent and misery laced childhood and they’re trying to pick a romantic partner, they’re going to pick the partner that brings massive instability into their life because that’s their brand. They’ll pick their career or job like this, eat food like this, seek out a lifestyle like this, sleep like this, breathe like this, watch TV shows like this and think like this. If peace, stability or love comes into their lives…..they’ll actively destroy it. If it’s not their misery and chaos BRAND, they’re not interested. Understanding how the human mind really works is the key to walking freely into a better way of existing. Self sabotage coaches can make you understand the motivations and unmet needs driving your behavior. After that….things just get better.