In self sabotage coaching there’s something called “external focus” and it’s a very common mental infection that keeps people away from their true personal power. For example. some people depend on the compliments of others to feel good about themselves. That means their personal self worth comes from outside of themselves, “from the external.” Humans are designed to lust after their own unique individual strengths and to develop those unique abilities over time. That process is actually called “individuation”, the process of becoming an individual. Becoming an individual, the act of going inside oneself to a deeper level, is really hard work…..taking consistent effort, personal sacrifice and painful realizations about the flaws we all carry. This hard work is often too much for the “externally focused” person to handle……so that person ends up taking the lazy road and trying to “purchase” or “buy” their individuation with plastic surgeries, cars, jewellery, tattoos, clothes and other body/commodity adornments. When you try to purchase your uniqueness, you just end up exactly like everyone else….but with different versions of what everyone else has. You just end up with a different tattoo, a different job, a different car, a different wine on a Friday night, different clothes, a different hair color, different TV shows, different size breast implants, a different University/college course….but unfortunately you have the exact same pain as everyone else who tried to purchase “their differences” because the soul can’t be tricked in this manner.

Again, in these examples, the focus was always external. This is the external focus trap. An external focus regarding fulfilling deep psycho/spiritual requirements, when “inside work” is the only thing that will ever truly satisfy us. What we truly need to be healthy and happy was never external, it’s internal….discovering who we really are WITHOUT ALL THE STUFF. Using TV for entertaining your brain instead of you entertaining yourself is external focus. Working a job instead of supporting yourself is external focus. Getting up on a stage in a body building show or beauty pageant, so other people can fill you up from the outside, is external focus. Believing it’s your partner’s job to make you happy, is external focus. Blaming others instead of asking “am I the problem”, is external focus. Demanding your coffee give you energy, instead of generating it yourself, is external focus. Using alcohol to “relax you”, instead of you learning to relax yourself and slow down, is external focus, External focus is always about stalled evolution and the inability to take one’s ancient rite of passage from child to adult. This is an important concept within self sabotage coaching, the ability to take full responsibility for all aspects of your life, so you can step into your true personal power and create the life of your dreams….by going “inside” for what you need.