I had to talk to one of my self sabotage clients regarding the phrase, “I need someone to keep me accountable” which is one of the most dangerous phrases in self sabotage coaching……because it means the subconscious is setting up a plan to blame the coach for the eventual failure. The subconscious doesn’t want to change because change is scary but it also doesn’t want to be the one fingered for the constant cycle of try and fail….so it organizes to blame outside factors for its’ addiction to staying stuck. If you always look outside for the help you need, you never learn self determination or take full responsibility for your results in life. This is what I told her…..
“This process is always about educating on how clever the defense mechanism in the subconscious is against change of any kind, especially when those changes work against the rituals, ceremonies and normality of your original family tribe. (which were driven into you in your childhood) Cultural factors are also involved with tricking you to believe that you always need a teacher, a doctor, a course, a guru, an expert, a therapist, a pill, a specialist, a surgery, a vaccine, a degree, an award, an appointment, a politician, a coffee, a drink, a news anchor, someone who will tell you what to do and how to think etc………which all help at times but we can become trapped in the external focus ambush, where you’re tricked to believe that help ONLY comes from the outside. This is the greatest magic trick our human farmers have ever orchestrated, to make you simply search outwards for something that can only be found inwards……..and that means you never find what you’re looking for even though you look under every rock in the world looking for it.“


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